I Want My Privacy!

2007-07-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

Dear Mom Luv:

My mother is driving me crazy!

All I want is a little privacy. I feel trapped in a house with two brothers, my father and a mother who goes overboard to make sure their needs get met, but often neglects mine, leaving me to fend for myself.

I am a straight A student. I am going into my sophomore year of high school and I have never gotten into any trouble. Yet, my mother is always snooping through my things expecting to find something and every time I am on the computer, my dad in looking over my shoulder almost every 10 minutes - even when I am working on homework!

I don't have a boyfriend. I have a strict curfew of 11:30 p.m. And I work really hard to follow all their rules, but it seems to never be enough.

Most times, my parents treat me like a prisoner and act like they can't wait to punish me for every little thing whereas my brothers (one younger, one older) seem to get away with everything - especially my older brother.

I am so sick and tired and I can't wait to go to college just so I can get out of this house.

In the meantime, could you please tell me how to survive this madness.

Thanks,

Going Crazy in Dallas

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Dear Going Crazy:

First of all, you may feel like you are going crazy, but you really aren't. Next, let me tell you how proud I am of your academic accomplishments. Getting straight A's is not easy.

As it relates to your family. I know it is hard growing up as the only girl. But, with you having only three more years before college, you'll be graduating high school before you know it.

Consider talking to your mother - since she is the only other female in the house. You may have already tried this, but try doing it from a standpoint of her perspective. A lot of parents don't like to admit to their children some of the things they got away with when they were teenagers. This reality combined with all the additional dangers from online predators to teachers who can't always be trusted can sometimes make parents a bit overprotective. You must admit, parents do seem to have more to be fearful about these days than before. So, think about it, in some ways, can you blame them?

Tell your mom you know that she and your dad love you. Acknowledge the hard work it takes to be parents of three children. Then ask her what is it that doesn't allow her and your dad not to trust you. Use your track record as a healthy bargaining chip to try to get a bit more privacy - although be careful not to throw it in her face.

Find a way to get further engaged in either school activities or a hobby or sport you really love like basketball or art - whatever interests you the most.

Don't give up on your parents. Because we are people like you, we aren't perfect either. But know they are committed to protecting you in your best interest. By approaching your mother, you'd be surprise how she might respond.

Let me know how it works out.

Peace.

Welcome to 'Ask My Mommy'

2007-07-29T20:30:00.000-07:00

It's often said that today's times can be hard - especially for young people. Children, pre-teens and teens alike are exposed to so much and in reality, they are just not ready to deal with the harsh realities of life. Or if they are, it's only because they have been made to grow up too fast.

Ask My Mommy was started to serve as an information source to pre-teens and teens alike. Any and every question is welcomed. My mother use to tell me, "You can ask and tell me anything. For I would rather you get the truth from me than from somewhere out there in the street."

As I look back, this was sound advice and words of wisdom.

Another unfortunate reality is that today's parents are often busy and sometimes physically and emotionally unavailable. In many cases, this is not intentional. If life is hard for you, know that it can be extremely hard for them. We live in a complex world full of complex expectations, mixed messages and a host of uncertainties. However, none of us have to go it alone.

By seeking spiritual guidance and engaging in acts of self-love, self-appreciation and self-acceptance, it can be easier to navigate life's harsh waters.

So, if you are a young person in need of some practical guidance and advice, you either leave a comment here or send me an e-mail at MomLuv@gmail.com.

I look forward to hearing from you.